Pathways
AKA: trusting in outcomes that haven't come to fruition... yet
One of my kinks is noticing themes in my life (wild, right?!) and whenever this happens to me, it feels like I've unlocked the next level in the video game of my life.
The current theme: pathways.
When I decided to stop coaching a few months ago, I honestly had no idea what I would do to replace it. Thankfully, I have a corporate job and a contract writing job that affords me enough income to have been able to make the decision (and actually take the action) to stop. This was a huge deal for me. I’m not one of those people who can just quit a job they don’t enjoy anymore and hope for the best — I have a mortgage and bills I’m responsible for; I’m part of a partnership, and it’s not just me I have to consider… plus, I like nice things, so there’s that, too.
Even though I had no idea what would be next for my business, I knew I would keep writing and stay connected to my community through my Substack, Instagram and mailing list.
I also trusted that whatever was next would eventually reveal itself to me and that the right people, opportunities, connections — and yes, pathways — would come my way organically and at the right time (for me).
I call this “active surrender”.
It tends to come into play when you decide something has to change. You let go of the something old but haven't quite grasped the something new (or, like me, you may not even know what the new thing is yet). It's also like being in the midst of a personal transformation. You're not your old self anymore, and you're not quite your new self yet. The death has happened, but the rebirth hasn’t taken place yet. You’re somewhere in the messy middle.
Both are weird and confusing spaces to be in, but life has to go on — and so do you.
Which is where active surrender comes in.
You surrender to the decision, the change, transformation. You trust that it will happen because the energetic wheels have been put into motion. God/Source/The Universe is playing their invisible part, and it’s now up to you to play your human part — this is where the action kicks in. You follow your inner guidance (your intuition). You take the steps, one by one, whatever they might be. You do whatever is available to you and within your power with faith and belief that every tiny little step and action, no matter how unremarkable, weird or unexpected, is bringing you closer to the new.
This works exceptionally well when you know what you’re working towards, but it also works when you have no idea what’s next.
I felt in the midst of this “mess” for months in the lead-up to my 40th birthday, which you can read about in my piece below…
…and I felt it as I let go of my coaching and opened myself up to see what could replace it and what could be next for me in a professional capacity.
More specifically, what could be next for me in my soul work.
The stuff that lights me up and sets my heart on fire… that I could happily lose hours immersed in… that I’m excited to share with others… and that I get to be paid well for.
Work that feels like this…
…but the exact form and shape of that work is still yet to fully reveal itself to me.
I’ve storyboarded some potential packages but haven’t finalised them or priced them… nor have I felt that (very Splenic Manifestor in Human Design) urge that says YES! NOW! — to put them into a services guide document, into the Canva template I have already purchased that is still sitting there, waiting to be customised.
And to be totally honest with you, if I were to peek below the surface I’d say there’s still a little bit of trauma there yet to heal after finally stepping out of the online business coaching world. For anyone else who has stepped off that hamster wheel model of ‘create/launch/sell/repeat’ because you want to do something else (and do it another way), you’ll know exactly what I mean.
I know that I don’t want to be a coach anymore. But I do want to be of service and offer my services. But I don’t want to structure or sell these services in the ways I was taught that didn’t work for me and made me feel wrong/broken/missing something.
I also know (and trust) the difference between resistance that feels like avoidance, and recognising when something needs more time… and letting it unfold.
I know this situation is the latter.
And it’s at times like this, when I can’t see the forest from the trees, I put pen to paper.
One of the latest journal prompts I sent out to my mailing list recently — which I share under the banner of my affectionately titled Uncovered Journal Club — posed these questions below, which I thought I’d answer for you now… because, why not? We’re here now! So let’s dive in…
What is something I’m stalling on?
Fully stepping into and launching/promoting the next iteration of my services in my business.
If I look under the surface, what fear is it bumping up against?
The fear of it not working and me hating it.
How can I work with it to help me take one small action step?
Acknowledge this is what I’m afraid of but that I am smart and capable enough to offer my new services in different ways that feel good, aligned, fun, simple, etc. Accept help/support from people I respect and admire. Know that my social media isn’t the only platform to connect with people — I can meet my next client anywhere, anytime, through anyone. ACTION STEP: seek out another local networking group I can join and tell people I’m a writer when they ask what I do.
Since answering those journal prompts, I have found a local networking group recommended to me by my osteo.
I jumped on their website and looked at their next three upcoming events. One stood out to me above them all — a breakfast with a guest speaker presenting on the topic: ‘From Idea to Published Author’.
After purchasing my ticket, I received a welcome email from one of the founders of the networking group. She expressed her gratitude and asked me to share a little about my work.
So I decided to go for it.
I told her that I’m a writer. That I’m looking to take on more writing and editing projects and collaborations in the new year. And I shared the links to my website and my Substack.
That in itself felt brave. I felt bold. And I felt really proud of myself. I’d taken my next action step. Job done. But what I didn’t see coming was what came next… she replied.
She told me that she had checked out my website, which she found to be “impressive, in bucketloads” and asked if I would be interested in the possibility of presenting at one of their networking events next year.
You better believe that I replied with a very appreciative: “Yes please, that would be amazing!” — and told her I looked forward to meeting and connecting in a few weeks.
And just like that… another pathway opened up.
It has taken me weeks to write this piece.
I have felt silly and stuck and stagnant at different points in time as I’ve tried to find the right words to share with you about what I’ve been learning about pathways.
I’ve been frustrated at myself for not being able to just punch this piece out and publish it faster.
But that’s been the gift of opening up a blank new post and titling the draft of it, ‘Pathways’.
I’ve had to trust in the unfolding and be patient in the opening up and the revealing of the pathways for me.
I’ve had to actually practice my theory of active surrender and believe in its yield.
Even when I couldn’t see it.
Especially when I couldn’t see it.
Because that’s what faith is: trusting in an outcome that hasn’t come to fruition.
YET.
So onwards (and open) we go…